


BaseBook Grimmons RP: Croc Bandit

by CPT_Simmons



Series: Grimmons RP [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Grimmons RP, Humor, M/M, Shakespeare Quotations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26937823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CPT_Simmons/pseuds/CPT_Simmons
Summary: A short, cursed story of Grif and Simmons unwillingly RPing as themselves with the prompt: Croc Bandit x Croc Wearer.
Relationships: Dexter Grif & Dick Simmons, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons
Series: Grimmons RP [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943794
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	BaseBook Grimmons RP: Croc Bandit

**Author's Note:**

> [This is an RP between the Grif and Simmons BaseBook Discord server accounts, wherein Grif and Simmons are roleplaying, as themselves. Server code is in this account's profile if you wanna join our shenanigans.]

**Simmons**

_(walks into the room, sadly not wearing any crocs)  
_Oh, boy. I sure do wish I knew someone with crocs, I say to myself, with no one in earshot of me.

**Grif**

_(walks in, sadly wearing crocs)  
_oh, boy. im wearing crocs. wow. how cool. oh, and socks too. i sure hope no one comes along and steals them from me

**Simmons**

_(walking towards the direction of Grif without realizing it because he did not notice Grif there at all)  
_I sure wish I can find someone to illegally obtain crocs from. It would be easier to purchase them myself, but I would rather have smelly crocs that some poor chump is wearing. Hopefully they do not have socks on.

**Grif**

_(sees simmons)  
_hello there random person who hopefully does not want to steal my smelly dirty crocs that i wear over socks

**Simmons**

_(sees Grif, wearing crocs with socks)  
_Why, hello there stranger, I see that you have socks with your crocs, did you know that you should not wear crocs in that fashion? You should remove your crocs at this moment for you to then take your socks off, I will hold your crocs in safe keeping until you find the opportunity once more to place them back on your feet.

**Grif**

wow how considerate of you, caring so much. yes i will remove my crocs and socks just because you, random stranger, have told me to, and i will give them to you to hold, because i know you will not steal them, random stranger  
_(takes off crocs and hands them to simmons, then goes to take off socks)_

**Simmons**

Thank you for believing in me, croc-wearing stranger. But alas, I have wronged you, for my intention was to actually claim your crocs for myself while you were preoccupied. Therefore, I will be leaving hastily with your newly obtained crocs.  
_(holds the crocs gently as he begins to turn heel and run)_

**Grif**

my croc... thou hast forsaken me...  
i thought i could trust you, stranger, you seemed so kind  
i have been fooled  
woe is me  
i shall never love again  
_(slowly lays down on the ground)_

**Simmons**

_(gasps dramatically, turning back around to kneel next to the stranger)  
_Oh, nay! I cannot believeth I hast wronged thee in such a manner. Prayeth bid, I shall return thy croc apace. Shall thee forgive me? _  
_

**Grif**

aye, i may forgive thee, methinks, if thou would return my dearest croc. and mayhaps offer me a tender..  
_(looks away dramatically)  
_.. _kiss_

**Simmons**

_(mouth agape)_  
Good croc-wearer, you do wrong your foot too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this. For cyborgs have hands that fatass' hands do touch, to give them crocs and...  
_(gently places hand under Grif's chin to lead their gazes together)  
_Face to face is frog and werewolf kiss.  
(Translation into modern text form, in case you didn't understand it: _Good croc-wearer, you don't give your foot enough credit. By holding your foot in my hand, you show polite devotion. After all, cyborgs touch the hands of fatasses. Holding a croc against another is like a kiss between a werewolf and a frog._ ) _  
_

**Grif**

O, then, dear cyborg, let lips do what feet do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair. i wilt has't mine crocs returned, and wilt beest blessed with a kiss

**Simmons**

Wolves do not move, though grant for prayers' sake. I return thy crocs and bless thee with a kiss. We may beest strangers, but I cannot help but have your lips.  
_(places crocs on the ground by Grif's feet)_  
Lovers ever run before the clock.

**Grif**

then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.  
_(leans forward ever so slightly and tenderly kisses simmons)  
_thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.  
i swoon, for i has't now hath taken a tender kiss to maketh up for the crimes thou has't committed  
however, i now fear that i has't fallen in the deepest of loves for thee, stranger  
speaketh of, what is thy name? i must knoweth

**Simmons**

You kiss by th' book! Then have my lips the sin that they have took.  
Fear not, for I shall bid thee mine own name, if't be true thee sins you take once more.  
_(biteth lip)_

**Grif**

~~_(biteth lip)  
_~~for thy name, i would fain sin again if't be true meanteth i got to feeleth the touch of thy lips against mine once more  
_(they share another kiss)_

**Simmons**

Thee und'rstood, and thou has't did provide me, so I shall beseech mine name.  
_(leans in closely, a breadth apart, barely a whisper)  
_Your lips did lay upon Dick.  
(several knifecat emojis included)

_fin_

* * *


End file.
